“We all have our own thing. That’s the magic; that everybody comes with their own sense of strength and their own queendom. Mine could never compare to hers and hers could never compare to mine.” ~ Jill Scott
We know that each and every one of us is a unique masterpiece. From our DNA to our fingerprints, we are different. We come to this planet as an original; there isn’t a single duplication anywhere in the universe. It’s incredible! As awesome as that is, as children we somehow lose the awe of this uniqueness.
Maybe it got lost the first time that we didn’t get picked for that dodgeball team or when we didn’t have the sneakers that everyone else had. Perhaps, it was lost when we started conforming into someone else’s ideal – when we wore that particular outfit to get noticed by our cute crush or when we conformed to an unspoken standard to land a job. A job that in turn made us to dress/act a certain way because it was required or because the company culture dictated it. Did it get lost when we received a “constructive” critique (from a boss, parent, or friend) and in an effort to “improve” ourselves, we switched up our style, our essence? Did we morph into something else because that’s what being an “adult” [insert any other defined role – law student, med student, designer, parent, friend, etc.] requires. Well, maybe it got lost when that commercial said that you weren’t beautiful or cool enough unless you had or wore Product X. When did it happen?
From our days as toddlers in daycare well into the varying stages of adulthood at home, work, and even social media, the world has a way of chipping away at the beautiful masterpiece that is YOU. How many times have you found yourself picking outfits for work and are completely unsure of how and why it found it’s way into your closet? How often do you find yourself in the midst of office politics at work because you have a co-worker who’s trying to outshine you and you were clueless that a “competition” had even started? Do you know any one who got passed over for a promotion by someone less qualified and who was not as nearly smart as the person who deserved it? Ever lost out on a job opportunity and been told that you were missing something? Do you scroll through your Facebook or Instagram feed and wonder “why” something happened or didn’t happen to you?
It may feel like every time we have showed up just as we were, life and those external influences have a way of making us feel like all that we are is simply not brillant enough on it’s own accord. Oftentimes, it just happens and when we look backwards we begin to realize that we simply are not ourselves anymore.
Failure, loss, and rejection often haphazardly facilitates this change. These negative experiences shake our self-confidence at it’s very core and we get fuzzy and unclear about who we are. Slowly our unique essence is eroded to the point where we are so far away from that awesome one-of-a-kind masterpiece that arrived on this planet.
I’m guilty of losing some of my essence. I unknowingly dug it a grave, threw some dirt on it, and I’m apparently doing the Moonwalk over it daily.
Yup, I’ve stopped being me. The crazy thing is… there’s something in me that recollects every moment where I began to get rid of it. It is almost as if, there’s this external Renee looking at me, observing me, and shaking her head saying, “that’s not you, don’t do that!”
Do I always listen to her? Of course not…I remember cutting my hair as a teen because I had to have that “mushroom bob.” Actually, I have the awful grade school pictures to remind me of it. *Sigh*
Well, at least it wasn’t a Jerri Curl! Hey, it was cool back then!!?? Right??
One of my personal goals for this year is to rediscover my essence. To add a little more soul sparkle to my life. One morning while charging myself up for the day ahead, I happened upon the following TEDx talk by Caroline McHugh.
The Art of Being Yourself | Caroline McHugh
Not only does McHough have a great message, but I love that it featured one of my favorite creatives – Jill Scott.
Jill Scott is one of my “friends in my head” (a ism coined by talk-show host, Wendy Williams). Whenever I hear her poetry, give a speech, or listen to one of her songs, her positivity and creativity speak to me just like a comforting friend. In her quote above, she is so right (YASSS!!!) about us having our own thing and it’s magical. We all came here with our own… we have unique talents, abilities, and strength. Yes, I have my own queendom and guess what? You have your own queendom/kingdom too!
It’s important to remember that we should never compare or conform ourselves. We don’t thumb our noses at Picasso paintings because they are so different from those of Monet. We respect each as the masterpieces they are. We should do the same with ourselves. It is definitely easier said than done but it’s a goal I’m willing to strive for. It won’t happen overnight, but I’ll pick my essence back up. It’s not lost… just temporarily misplaced, under all of that dirt.
Are you hiding your uniqueness? Do you conceal your masterpiece from the world at work or in everyday life? Have you lost your essence? I’d love to know what you’re doing to reclaim it and showcase it to the world. Do your own thing! Drop me a comment below.
Sending you dreamy bliss,